Climbing a Mountain Without a Harness
Climbing a Mountain Without a Harness
Too Short, Green Day, or Alanis Morissette angrily blaring out of the speakers of my new CD player (you know the one with a 5 disc changer and the cool colored lights on the top). Inappropriate pictures of scantily clad, too thin models from Cosmo plastering my walls. Never wanting to be home, like EVER. And visions of middle school boys dancing through my head.
That is what I remember from my early teen years.
I felt like I was the rope in a fierce tug of war game, one side was little me, kind, caring, bubbly, easy, loving, and safe. And the other side was teen me wild, mean, daring, and defiant. Pretty confusing right?
One of my clients described the feeling as, "Climbing a mountain without a harness."
The transition is not smooth but it doesn't have to be brutal
It's complicated and overwhelming going from child to teen. Not knowing who you are or who you even want to be. Trying so hard to fit in. Wanting freedom (climbing the mountain) and also being so afraid (no harness).
It's also painful and complicated fas a parent. Your cuddly, soft child has become jagged and hard. They are pushing for freedom and autonomy and it feels scary and unknown?
It felt hard when I was a teen in 1995. And though the underlying problems remain the same (going from child to teen) in 2021, they are amplified by social media, sexual and gender confusion, and life.
It is not a time I would ever do over again, AND I love supporting teens and their parents through it.
Support outside of parents and friends
Teens need someone (besides their parents) to SEE them without judgement or criticism. And to TRULY LISTEN to them without giving them unsolicited advice or opinions.
And parents, who feel like they are losing their child need support through this time as well
I never planned on working with teens as a coach or a teacher. AND I keep finding myself there, and loving it.
Finding my path
After much resistance, I have accepted that I have a gift for working with this population and their families through these challenging times. (Luckily it did not take quite as long as it took me to start appreciating my mama again after all of my teenage angst.)
And I can't stop thinking about how our lives may have been different if we found someone like me back then to help us out.
I have just worked with teens and just worked with parents. It is great, and I believe there is room for so much more ease and connection when everyone gets support.
The WHOLE family
When supporting a client to change or adopt a new behavior, we always look at the environment and how it is impacting the behavior. The parents are part of the teen's environment, and the teen is a part of the parent's environment, so it must be included.
That is why Iām offering coaching for teens and their families who want more ease and better communication as they move through hard transitions and the many challenges of life in 2021 and beyond.