Honoring Transitions
Honoring transitions
The other day was the last day of 2nd grade for my oldest daughter. She was so excited about field day and going to the lake with her friends after school, and there was also a sadness underneath because she loves school! She loved her 2nd grade teacher and she will miss her friends over the summer. The next day, she was on the verge of tears most of the day, and I wanted to wrap her up in my arms and make everything better.It was such a clear example of the need to process and honor this transition. Rather than just filling up her life with going to the river, planning trips, and whatever else we might do during the summer. What about creating a space for her to honor and close the chapter of 2nd grade. And take a few breaths into what is possible for her summer and beyond.
Wait, what about me?
And then I thought, but wait, what about me? The mama? The one who is usually thinking about other people and their feelings and transitions, and often not honoring my own need to honor transitions.We humans live in a constant state of change. Some of us handle change more gracefully than others.When small changes to your schedule arise, you have a choice. Either you welcome it, or you resist it until you realize it has already happened, and your resistance to it didn't stop it from happening. It only made it more challenging FOR YOU.I fall into both of these categories depending on the day.
Resistance, acceptance, and honoring
And then there are the changes that are BIGGER. Like your kids being out of school for summer, maybe even graduating high school!! Your spouse's schedule changing, or whatever it may be for you.We often have resistance and denial to change, which is never useful, and sometimes we find acceptance, which makes our lives so much easier.But what if you took it one step further and honored change? Even if you have resistance to it. When was the last time you honored a transition or a big change? Like took some time to yourself to think about it, journal about it. Feel gratitude for what is ending. Take a few breaths in and out and open your heart to what is about to begin.Some of us are good at big celebrations and ceremonies, but I'm not talking about that because that often just adds more todos to your list. I'm talking about a few moments alone, or maybe with your kid who is also transitioning. It doesn't have to be a big time commitment because I know more time commitments are not what you need.
How I have made transitions in the past?
I have spent much of my life transitioning from one thing to the next without much thought or honoring. I tend toward rolling with the punches rather than holding on tightly. This might make my life a little easier in the moment, but often leaves me feeling a bit disconnected.I lived in the same house my whole life, and then once I turned 16 I averaged one move a year for the next 16 years. Rarely did I stop to thank the house or apartment I was leaving for the home I made there, and the shelter it provided for me. I usually looked around made sure I had everything and the fridge was clean, and slammed the door without ever looking back.Even though I was not stuck holding on to that old apartment, I always felt a sense of, "wait, what just happened?" as I was quickly hopping back on the hamster wheel of life.
Time to make a choice
So, here we are, at the end of a school year, the start of the summer, and at a transition. And you have a choice. Will you barrel on ahead into more doing and planning, or will you take an intentional, quiet moment to acknowledge and honor the transition. And take a few breaths into what is to come.