The day I rear-ended someone 😭

Do you know what resentment feels like in your body ?

Let me give you a little hint…. It doesn’t feel good.

The other day, I said yes to something that made my already busy day a little busier. I had to move things around on my calendar to have enough time to pick something up and drop it off for someone.

Immediately after saying yes, I felt hot and uncomfortable in my body (resentment). And that persisted, even after I picked up and dropped off the thing. 

But rather than take a few moments to cool down (jk it’s 105 here, there’s no cooling down right now unless you jump in the river) and connect with myself and what I needed, I just kept pushing through.

Feeling hot fast energy zipping around in my body, I was running my kids from one activity to the other and trying to get them a decent meal in between. 

It is my MO to fit in the maximum amount of things into the minimum amount of time. Not always calculating time sitting at red lights and lines at grocery stores. Thank god for self-checkout! Amiright!!

One of my kids asked me something at a red turn light.

I turned around to respond and pulled out my phone to check the thing they asked about. I saw the car next to me start to go and gently stepped on the gas.

AND HIT THE GUY IN FRONT OF ME!!! 😳

It was my first ever my mistake, car accident ever!!! Now before I go on, I will tell you that no one was hurt, except my ego. Even the cars just barely had a little ding on them, but it was kind of the worst.

We pulled over and took care of all the logistics (I did not know what any of those logistics were and felt a bit like a fumbling mess. Where’s my insurance card? Where is my registration? What else do you need?)

But once we had done all of that, and I was back in the AC, the first thing my brain did was go to blame. 

• If I hadn’t said yes to that errand, I wouldn’t have been so late

• If my husband hadn’t told me I should start using the Bluetooth in my car rather than plugging in, I wouldn’t have had to pick up my phone

• If I hadn’t put my work email on my phone I wouldn’t have had to enter the password

• If my kids hadn’t asked me a question….

Once I took some deep breaths, cried, and spoke to a very kind person at my insurance company, I moved on to gratitude that no one was hurt, and that maybe it was a good wake-up call to be more mindful of my time, my mental space, what my body is trying to tell me, and trying to multitask in the car.

So, why did I just tell you this embarrassing, rather shame-provoking story? Because this is one of the most common things that comes up for my mom clients.

Understanding this line of helping because it feels good and doing things out of resentment is very important. This is an extreme example, but when you start listening to the whispers of tightness, hotness, fast energy and take a few moments before you just say yes to everything, magic can happen. (Like not rear ending someone 🙄)

Just the other day on a call with a client she said, “I tried what we’ve been talking about the other day and said no to something, and it felt so good.” 

I could see relief and lightness wash over her whole body, her face, her shoulders, and her breath. This lightness came from her listening into her body and feeling that this was the right choice. It didn’t come from proving a point or doing something someone told her she should do. 

And now that she knows how this feels, she can tap into that and continue to build the muscle of listening and acting with love. She won’t get it right every time, but when she does she will feel that feeling and continue to build that muscle.

As the parent of a teen, you will be given many opportunities to build this muscle, and it starts with a gentle listening of your body.